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Conversations with a life coach: How to be vulnerable

Do you sometimes feel the need to put on a front about how happy you are with something in your life because you feel the need to live up people's perceptions of you?

Do you view seeking help or advice from people, even those you love, as a sign of weakness?

Do you have a tendency to hold some people at an arm's length so that they can't get close enough to hurt you?

Do you sometimes feel like people don't see or know the REAL you?

Many of the women I work with in my role as a life and self love coach, struggle with their sense of self worth – and genuine feelings of self love – because they haven't been able to develop enough strong, positive and deep relationships with the people in their life; this then goes on to have a profound impact on the way they view themselves and their confidence in both their personal, and professional, lives.

These issue can occur throughout a person’s life as they struggle to show vulnerability and let people close through fear of judgment or rejection.

This can all lead to someone seeing vulnerability as a weakness: a power tool others in their life could use to have control over them.

So they avoid putting themselves in that position.

The result is that a (small, sometimes indeterminable) distance builds between the individual and other the people in their life.

This can mean that their needs aren't met because they struggle to express them.

Or they feel unlikeable or unlovable; like they don't quite fit in. This causes their confidence to decrease and this vicious cycle of a lack of self-love leading to a lack of meaningful relationships, leading them to feel more unlikeable or unlovable, continues. 

Can you relate to any of this?

If so, it might surprise you that – through my work as a life coach – I’ve learnt that a key factor in the solution of the issues many women face surrounding self worth and self love, is actually vulnerability with others.

Vulnerability is not a weakness.

Admitting you need additional help, support, or advice, is nothing to hold shame about.

As Brene Brown says, it takes huge courage to show up and be vulnerable.

It's what helps build and strengthen bonds.

It's what helps us feel less alone.

It's what helps us feel understood.

It's what allows us to let love in.

It's what helps us to feel seen.

You can take steps towards being more vulnerable by:

  • Giving yourself compassion and permission to not be perfect.

  • Seeking support when you need it.

  • Avoid focusing on others' opinions of you. They're out of your control. Focus on what you think about yourself.

It's only for the brave, and you can choose to be brave any time you want 💝

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